Why do we love makeovers? Humans love to see things (and people) change before our very eyes. The “before” and “after” photos are like a grown up game of peekaboo. We are delighted and surprised and even skeptical as we try to discern… is that the same person in both photos? is that the same house? could I do that? Just like babies who are mesmerized by their parents who hide their faces and then reveal them, we can’t look away from a makeover.

Babies love peekaboo because they are getting a grasp on object permanence, i.e. when they can’t see things, they don’t cease to exist.  For us, I think it’s because we all want to believe change – even dramatic change – can happen easily and quickly. Bring on the Biggest Loser, and let me tour the finished Fixer Upper. We’re all in for hours of house makeovers – Flip or Flop, Master Flipper, First Flip etc. We’re glad to find old episodes of How Do I Look? or Ambush Makeover on Netflix.

We’re having a kitchen makeover  – all superficial, but big changes in flooring, countertops, backsplash etc. It went from being what I called “Uppity 70’s” (with wood cabinets, dark brown granite countertops, brown ceramic tile flooring and brass hardware) and now looks more like a Le Pain Quotidien restaurant – marble counters, reclaimed “wood” floors, espresso stained cabinets and chrome accessories. I’m very happy with it.  The “new” room is lighter, brighter and actually feels bigger. The space has much more function, so our experience cooking and cleaning up will be much more satisfying. I don’t really have before and after pics of that. (Consider for just a moment, how disappointed you are. Admit it.)

Well, here’s what I conclude about makeovers, because I’ve been thinking a lot about them. We want change desperately and seek experts and professionals for their help. But whether we lose weight, get a new look, remodel a kitchen or have a financial makeover, WE are the SAME people. The change is superficial, even if it is exciting, lighter, or more functional.

WE have to change in our minds before there can be deep or lasting changes in our lives. WE change first, and then the universe accommodates. Unless and until you’re able to change your stories, excuses, patterns, and energy, you cannot effectively or permanently have your makeover.

Lottery winners lose all their money, thin people regain their weight, and our lovely new kitchen still has 30 year old cabinetry with drawers that stick. The first step is, and must be, in your brain.

  • If you have a longstanding pattern of overdrinking, overthinking or overeating…
  • If you’re procrastinating with your writing…
  • If you don’t let yourself write – with excuses about time or priorities…
  • Then you know you have to change internally before you’ll see external changes.

Makeovers look easy, but they’re a lot of work and take real courage and integrity. Yes, you need professionals, but in my opinion, not the ones you think. Don’t hire a contractor or editor or accountant or stylist until you’ve brought your mindset into compliance with your hoped-for goal. Hire a coach, a mentor or a counselor. Makeovers need to start in the mind, your heart and your soul before they can show up to the naked eye.

Peekaboo. I see you.